Have you ever had someone tell you how stressed out you must be, except the problem was, you were not stressed out, even though they insisted you were? I have spent the last week feeling like that. You know something that drives me nuts and makes me frustrated, which leads to stress? Being told how stressed out I am when I’m not!
I get it. I have a lot of responsibilities and juggle several households, to top it off with kids and my writing. It’s not work that everyone is cut out for, and I get that most other people would find this stressful. When you start adding in health issues, it starts worrying other people, but at the end of the day, that is how they feel, not me.
It’s important to know yourself and what does and doesn’t work for you. I can manage juggling the stuff I have. I have order, schedules, routines for those who need them, and a little flex in case of emergency. I found what works for my family and me. That’s what is important—finding what is right for you and your family. It won’t look like anyone else’s, and that’s ok.
But there are things that stress me out. No, it’s not doing so much stuff. Nope, not writing. I actually find writing to be relaxing. No, health issues are a minor inconvenience but can be dealt with.
What stresses me out is when people call me last minute wanting me to do things for them when they didn’t plan ahead and want to guilt-trip me into doing it. (No worries, they would never care enough to read this to be offended.) Having everyone angry panicking, especially when it is uncalled for or yelling in general, stresses me out. Having people try to convince me I am stressed, depressed, or other such nonsense makes me angry, and that stresses me out!
Now to be fair, I can see why they might think this. I’m one of those rare people who want to get whatever is upsetting me off my chest. Some hear me vent about something and then think I’m agitated by it. In reality, after I have vented, I’m done. It’s over and done with, and I have moved along.
I’ll give you an example. Let’s say that the kids spend the whole day bickering inside because it is storming outside. Three fistfights, two bowls of cereal with milk on the floor, more tattling than I can count, one clogged toilet, and a missing DVD later, I’ve had enough and call someone to vent. I’m going to lay out what happened, complain about it, make bad joke about being grateful they didn’t clog the toilet with the missing DVD, and get off the phone. At the end of that conversation, I’m going to feel better and be ready to put everything that happened behind me because I just dealt with it.
Which, I admit, is a great example of how this week has gone. Well, maybe not the fistfights, and it was a clogged bathtub, but yeah, I know how to fix that… And I did.
So if you’re like me, it is ok that others don’t get it. You do what works for you. If you are one of the people who don’t get it, that’s ok too. Do what works for you. Just please stop doing what you know is going to stress me. I want to enjoy others, not feel like I have to deal with whatever drama they caused today.
Thank you for listening to me vent.